tomorrow is tha day i get to go to daymark….hopefully they can get me on tha right meds and maybe shitll get better….pushing so hard errday just to get out tha bed is gettin old. ppl dont realize how hrd i try bc it seems like i dont. but i rlly do. i wish it was easier for ppl to understand my problems………
so aftr talkin to my sister i decided to stick with willie and keep something good. no need to go backwards to someone who already messed with my life once. he can be a great guy and i love him alot but my kids are worth so much more. why be with someone who im going to have to support when i can be with someone who loves me and only wnats whats best for me :) i love willie, i always have and i can be happy with him i just have to get past this road block which can be done with time. willie makes me happy i just have a few things to get past myself tob e completely happy. but with time and much needed help i can do it and i can live a good life with him. i love you william robert kelly jr! you make me happy and my kids to….i hope i can do the same :)
i get behind myself i need to rewind myself listen to the paybacks……
you love someone you fight like hell no matter the pain to keep them. u do whatever it tkes to be with that person….thats what ive always heard love is and thats really what i believe. i also believe ppl are human and make mistakes its how u overcome those mistakes that matters. and rlly this is how i feel about him. i felt that way once years ago about you and i thought it would come back but it hasnt happened. i dont know if it would ever happen. i dont understand why shits like it is. why im so confused. im sorry that i am this way. you dont know what i go through everyday. i am fine on some days and most days im down but i try to crack a smile anyhow. i will find my way one day and find that place where i feel like i belong. im just getting tired of searching.
the hell do i reply to a reply? i cnt figure it out im gttin angry lol
i dont know really
what to do
im trying the best i can
to realize what it is
im trying to do
but im so damn confused
i dont know if ill ever
know what to do
but its not only hurting you
im dying inside
because the things i do
but you gotta see
i dont understand me
i hurt each and everyday
because of the pain
i never know for sure
what is going to happen anymore
my hearts become a mess
and im going insane
but im the only one to blame
a lying ass 2dollar whore? ummmm no sir im sure im not! dnt blieve nuttin cme out my mouth. fuck u!
im constantly up and down with how i feel….it sucks just saying. worst part is not knowing when or why.
i just wish for once i knew what was going on. wishing i understood my own feelings. everyone says they dont understand me and tht sucks for them but nobody ever seems to think how i feel about not even understanding the first thing about myself. everyday is different. i wake up wondering how im…
baby gurl i love u and i understand wut u r goin threw and im here for u but u need to go where me and samantha has been goin cause untill u can get the help u need wheather its meds or just tryin to come to terms wit ur self u r just gonna drive ur self crazy but i love u and moma is here anytime u need me dont forget that
I have an appt at daymark on the 22 if thats what ur talkin bout….im tryin…i just hate not knowing anything ya kno and i know it bothers him to and imma just go slap crazy tryna figure it out ya kno.
i just wish for once i knew what was going on. wishing i understood my own feelings. everyone says they dont understand me and tht sucks for them but nobody ever seems to think how i feel about not even understanding the first thing about myself. everyday is different. i wake up wondering how im going to feel about someone that day. is it going to be good or bad? and it just happens nobody has to do anything i just wake up that way. really wish i knew what to do…like if i had some sort of magical being to tell me what to do thtd help alot but i dont.. God has answers they say but i just cant seem to grab mine.